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Screenwriting Competition Entry
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Ask Questions Later
JOHN, a handsome and healthy man in his mid-thirties sits at his desk reading. His door buzzes, he goes to open it. In walks DAVID, dressed in all black and carrying two handguns, with a backpack
JOHN
Why, hello.
DAVID
Sorry to interrupt, but are you Dr. John Cassidy?
JOHN
Yes. And you are?
DAVID
David Kennebrook
He puts one of his guns in its holster and the men shake hands
Now, I’m terribly sorry, but I’m going to have to kill you.
JOHN
Do you have an appointment?
DAVID
No, Is that a problem?
JOHN
Well, I have a consult at 2:00. But I have some time.
DAVID
If you don’t mind, this is the only time I can really do it. I’m coaching my kid’s baseball team at a tournament later today, and I’ve got some work to do the rest of the week for Jimmy Valenti.
JOHN
Oh, how’s Jimmy? God, I haven’t talked to him in ages. He and I used to do a racquetball league at the Y together.
DAVID
Well, I don’t ask too many questions, but he seems to be doing okay.
JOHN
Well, next time you see him, will you send him my regards?
DAVID
Sure, sure. Now look, if you don’t mind, I kind of have to get going, so if we could just get it over with.
JOHN
So you're going to shoot me?
DAVID
Yeah.
JOHN
With what?
DAVID
This.
Holds up gun.
It’s a .44 caliber, semi-automatic. Here, take a look.
Gives gun to JOHN, who looks it over
JOHN
Turns the gun over in his hands.
Nice, nice. My uncle used to take me out to a firing range every once and a while. He was kind of a gun nut. President of his local NRA chapter and all that. Had twenty something guns in his closet. I never really got used to them myself.
Gives the gun back to DAVID.
DAVID
Points the gun at JOHN’s temple.
Alright, hold steady.
JOHN
What are you doing?
DAVID
Shooting you.
JOHN
Do you have a silencer?
DAVID
No.
JOHN
And I suppose it never occurred to you that perhaps someone in the building would hear the shot and call the cops?
DAVID
Well, I was figuring on running out of your office, perhaps shooting your secretary, and running down the fire escape.
JOHN
The fire escape is on the opposite side of the suite.
DAVID
How do you get there?
JOHN
You go out this door, take a left, go down the hallway, open the second door on your right, and it’s in the left-hand corner of the room. But it doesn’t much matter.
DAVID
Why not?
JOHN
Well, Frank Casey has a root canal in there right now, and he’d flip a shit if it got interrupted.
DAVID
When will that end?
JOHN
In about ten minutes, but he's got another at 2:15.
DAVID
Okay, then, what way do you think I should go?
JOHN
Use a silencer, then exit quietly out the door. If you don’t act suspiciously, you should be down the elevator before anyone notices.
DAVID
One second, I think I have my silencer on me, but I'm not sure.
Reaches into bag, looks around, starts taking out gun after gun, of all sizes and shapes, and places them on the desk. JOHN looks on intrigued. He walks over and picks one up.
JOHN
You need all of these?
DAVID
Well, most of them. I don’t really need that one, but I carry it around just in case. For protection, you know? Especially if I’m working at night. You never know what could happen in this city.
JOHN
I thought about that. But my wife is against it. Says she doesn’t want the kids growing up around them.
DAVID
Yeah, my wife didn’t like it at first. But with my job the way it is, I figured I have to be prepared.
Takes silencer out.
Found it.
Screws it onto the barrel and points the gun at JOHN’s temple.
JOHN
No, no, you're doing it wrong.
DAVID
Look, I've been doing this for over ten years.
JOHN
Yeah, but you’ve got the gun positioned wrong. See, if you shoot me through the side of the head, there’s a chance that it’ll pass through my brain without hitting any really crucial parts. It’ll probably be fatal, sure, but I might not die right away, which would probably mean yelling, which would make your getaway a lot harder.
DAVID
Never thought about that.
JOHN
Of course you didn’t. Look, if you really want to kill me, you should try for the brain stem. If the gun were in my mouth, the barrel would more or less be pointed there. That’s how they say you should shoot yourself, anyway. How about you try that?
DAVID
Alright, so just stick it in like this?
Sticks the gun in JOHN's mouth.
JOHN
(Trying to talk around the gun)
Uh-huh. Ow ah oo uh i uh. (Now just pull the trigger.)
DAVID
What?
JOHN
Oo uh i uh. I ii. (Pull the trigger. Like this.)
Grabs DAVID's trigger hand.
DAVID
Takes the gun out of JOHN’s mouth and wipes it on his pant leg.
Look, I’m sorry, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
JOHN
I was just saying to shoot.
DAVID
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you ready?
Puts gun near Jon’s mouth again.
JOHN
Wait, I was just thinking, if you were to shoot me in the mouth, then you’d have to lay me down, wipe off your gun, then exit. It would be dreadfully messy, and not terribly inconspicuous, either.
DAVID
I never thought of that.
JOHN
Why don’t you try shooting me in the back of the head? That way, I’ll fall forward, you can just walk out, and no one will be the wiser.
DAVID
Sounds good.
JOHN kneels down, and DAVID places the gun at the back of his neck.
JOHN
(Recoiling from the barrel)
Oooh, that's cold.
DAVID
Will you sit still? It’ll just take a second.
JOHN
Oh, sorry.
(Pause)
Wait.
DAVID
(Exasperated)
What now?
JOHN
I was just wondering...Who sent you?
DAVID
I can't discuss that.
JOHN
Why not?
DAVID
It’s a matter of client confidentiality. I can’t discuss jobs with anyone.
JOHN
I'm not going to tell anybody.
DAVID
Well, you say that, but what if you do?
JOHN
I'll be dead.
DAVID
True, but what if you aren’t? You’ll be able to tell people everything.
JOHN
All the more incentive for you to do your job properly.
DAVID
I’m sorry, but it’s a matter of policy and personal ethics. It goes against my conscience to tell you that.
JOHN
What if I were to list off people, and you can say yes or no.
DAVID
No.
JOHN
You don’t even have to say yes. Just don’t say no when I guess correctly. Then, you didn’t say anything, and I figured out on my own.
DAVID
(Finally)
Sounds good to me.
JOHN
Carol?
DAVID
No. Who's that?
JOHN
My wife. What about Jane?
DAVID
No. Who's that?
JOHN
My ex-wife. Jackie?
DAVID
Strike three. Let me guess, another ex-wife?
JOHN
No, that’s my mistress. She’d be the reason the first two would try to kill me.
DAVID
Will you hurry up?
JOHN
How about a hint.
DAVID
I couldn't.
JOHN
Come on.
DAVID
(Sighs)
It may or may not be someone who may or may not be mad at you for something you may or may not have said about a certain member of his family that he’s married to.
JOHN
Tony Rizzo? Really? Really?
DAVID is mute.
Man, I didn't think he'd have the cajones.
Tries to get up.
Hey, if this is all about what I said about his wife, why don’t I just call him up and apologize?
DAVID
Sets him back with his gun.
No.
JOHN
Why not? You wouldn’t have to worry about escaping, and you could go to that tournament.
DAVID
If everyone I tried to kill ended up apologizing, I’d be out of a job. I’ve got kids to support, you know.
JOHN
Well, hey, you don’t think I have to support a family, too? We barely get by as is! It’s not like I can just go downtown, shoot some guy, and get a thousand bucks!
DAVID
Do you think being a hit man is a walk in the park? You don’t know what it’s like to come home at night, covered in blood, and to have to tell the kids you were out painting because you’re too ashamed to tell them the truth. Hell, I walked in last week, and one of my daughters came up to me all scared, said that kids were spreading rumors in school, ridiculing her, all because they don’t understand what I do for a living. I try to talk to their parents, and what do they do? They hang up on me! Do you think-
JOHN
Hey, hey, sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it like that.
DAVID
Yeah, well, maybe you should put more thought into what you say before you say it.
JOHN
Look, how about I call Tony up, ask him what’s going on, and see if I can talk to him about this. If he decides you shouldn’t kill me, then I’ll pay what he would have. So it’s a win-win for you.
DAVID
Fine!
JOHN
Moves to phone, dials.
Hey, Tony? Oh, sorry...Yeah, could I speak to Tony?...Well, it’s kind of urgent...Is this Jack?...Hey, Jack, it’s John...Yeah, John Cassady...Well, that’s why I need to talk to him...Okay, thanks...
(To DAVID)
This’lll just be a second. ...Tony? Hey, it’s John...I’m sorry, what was that?...That’s not very nice...Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about...Yes, I’m very sorry...Look, it’s all a misunderstanding...How was I to know that she had herpes?...Well, I am a gynecologist, but it’s not like I give check-ups at restaurants...Look, Tony, I’d just like to ask you-Tony? Tony?
(Turns to DAVID)
That went well.
DAVID
Well, can we get on with it?
JOHN
He might call back.
DAVID
For God’s sakes, it’s not like I have all day!
JOHN
Fine, fine, fine. Jesus, someone's being pushy.
Kneels down, DAVID gets in position.
DAVID
It’s really not that big a deal. You probably won’t feel it.
He sets himself and gets ready to fire.
The door buzzes.
JOHN
Come in.
JOEY, another assassin, enters. He is dressed much like DAVID, and carries two handguns.
DAVID
Joey! Joey Gallardo? What are you doing here?
joey
(Slightly awkwardly)
Well, I was hired to do a job.
DAVID
Well, I have him all set, it’s okay.
(Pause)
You did come for him, right?
JOEY
Well, yes. And you.
DAVID
Me? But, Joey, we went to school together!
JOHN
Didn’t know there was a school for this kind of job.
DAVID
What do you mean by that?
JOHN
Well, I just didn’t know you had to go to school to be a hit man.
DAVID
Well, as a matter of fact, John, you do. Four years, in fact. And Joey and I both graduated. With Honors. Right, Joey?
JOEY
(Breaking down)
Why, David? Why did you have to do it? You know the rules! You know Tony! Why did you do it?
DAVID
(To JOHN)
See, look what happened.
(To JOEY)
Joey, I know this is hard for you. But a hit man can’t always do things for others. Sometimes, they have to do things for themselves, regardless of who they hurt. You have a job to do, and I’ll be damned if I let our friendship get in the way of that!
JOEY
(Sniffling)
Really?
DAVID
Really.
He kneels down.
JOEY
Okay. I’m so sorry, Dave.
He puts to the back of DAVID’s neck, closes his eyes, prepares to fire, then breaks down again.
I can't do it! I just can't do it!
DAVID
You have to!
JOEY
No, I can’t kill you. You’re like a brother to me.
JOHN
How about this. I shoot David, and you shoot me. That way, you’re not killing him, but both jobs get done.
DAVID
That sounds like it’ll work. What do you think, Joey?
JOEY
(Meekly)
Okay.
JOHN
Do you have a silencer on you?
JOEY
No.
JOHN
Okay, after you shoot, go out this door, take a left, go down the hallway, open the second door on your right, and run to the fire escape in the left-hand corner of the room. But be careful not to disturb Dr. Casey, he’s got a root canal in there at the moment. Got that?
JOEY
Kind of.
JOHN
I'll write it down for you
Grabs paper and pen, writes the directions down, and hands it to JOEY.
Alright, David, you stay put. I’ll shoot you, and then Joey, you stand behind me, and shoot me.
They assemble. JOEY gives JOHN a gun, and he places the barrel on DAVID’s neck. JOEY does the same for JOHN.
DAVID
You’re going to want to be a little higher up.
JOHN
Like this?
DAVID
A little to the left...Perfect. Alright, on three. One, two, three.
They all shut their eyes tight and prepare.
Blackout.