Blogs » Short Screenplay Contest Entry
Short Screenplay Contest Entry
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A hiring office. A MAN sits behind a desk, reviewing applications. His secretary buzzes in on his intercom.
SECRETARY
(Over intercom)
Your 2:30 is here.
INTERVIEWER
Send him in.
The APPLICANT walks into the room.
INTERVIEWER
Take a seat.
applicant
Thank you.
INTERVIEWER
So, I'm going to be frank with you. Your resume looks a little thin. I know you're young, but we're looking for someone with a lot of experience.
APPLICANT
Well, while I don't have a lot of experience, I feel that my specific experiences are very pertinent to the job.
INTERVIEWER
Your only formal training seems to be as a carpenter.
APPLICANT
Well, it's the family business.
INTERVIEWER
We don't need you to build us a house.
APPLICANT
Carpentry has given me the ability to problem solve and a good deal of self-discipline.
INTERVIEWER
Well, that's all well and good, but we're looking for more of a brainy type here.
APPLICANT
I come highly recommended by my local rabbis.
INTERVIEWER
Yes, but it seems like you've ticked off the religious leadership elsewhere.
APPLICANT
You can't please everyone.
INTERVIEWER
They seem to think you're arrogant and self-centered.
APPLICANT
Well, I guess they're entitled to their opinion.
INTERVIEWER
And what is this about your father?
APPLICANT
What about Him?
INTERVIEWER
You put Son of God on your application.
APPLICANT
Well, I think that my upbringing as His son has given me a perspective that would be a positive in this job.
INTERVIEWER
Yes, well, we don't like to reward nepotism here. Let's look at the rest of your application.
Pause.
Now, what's this about a party?
APPLICANT
Ah, yes, I changed water to wine at a party.
INTERVIEWER
And why did you put this on your resume?
APPLICANT
Well, I figured you'd want somebody with the ability to perform miracles.
INTERVIEWER
Well, it may wow the guys at Pi Kappa Alpha, but those kinds of parlor tricks don't really impress me.
APPLICANT
I just figured, I mean, wine is pretty special, and water's-
INTERVIEWER
Do you have a problem with alcohol?
APPLICANT
No. Why would you ask that?
INTERVIEWER
Well, it seems like you're quite fixated on this water-to-wine business.
APPLICANT
Fixated? You brought it up!
INTERVIEWER
Let's just move on. What do you in your spare time?
APPLICANT
Well, I heal lepers on weekends normally, although I've also been known to cast demons out.
INTERVIEWER
On weekends?
APPLICANT
Yes.
INTERVIEWER
You mean, you work on the Sabbath?
APPLICANT
Well, I mean, it's volunteering, I wouldn't really call it work...
INTERVIEWER
I don't care what you call it, you're doing work, and that's frowned upon.
APPLICANT
I just try to help.
INTERVIEWER
Quite frankly, I find many of your actions in the past disturbing. We do background check on all our applicants, and it turns out that you have a criminal record.
APPLICANT
Is this about the incident at the Temple?
INTERVIEWER
Yes, indeed, it is.
APPLICANT
It was a misunderstanding...
INTERVIEWER
Turning over tables? Setting wild animals loose? What more is there to understand?
APPLICANT
They had turned my Father's house into a den of thieves!
INTERVIEWER
Again with the father business! Let me make something clear. We do not hire based in any way on familial relations with current employees here.
APPLICANT
I was just-
INTERVIEWER
No, you know what, I've heard enough. I'm sorry, Mr. Christ, but I just don't think that you would fit Judaism's position for a Messiah. Thank you for coming.
APPLICANT
Can I-
INTERVIEWER
(More forceful)
Thank you for coming.
APPLICANT
(Resigned)
Right. Thank you.
INTERVIEWER
You may see yourself out.
The APPLICANT leaves.
Fade out.