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Posted by
Beth Adams February 19, 2010 -
554 views
Being Friday it has reminded me that it is a Lenten day of fasting again. It actually knocked me out by mid-day and rendered me sluggish. Yes, I'm sure my blood sugar levels were having a hey-day. But it again reminded me of commitment to the season and myself. That is why I couldn't go to bed tonight without adding an entry. So what have I done?
I read through the first two chapters that broke down the process of how I would write this movie. The summation of the upcoming chapters that stood out for me were: "Why you have to believe you can do it and what to do when you don't" and "how to schedule work time". I'm learning about the inner movie method and in the next chapter I will learn how to get ready to expel that darn story out of my head.
How does one that is a mother, wife, homemaker, part-time worker (which includes attempting a couple home businesses) , freelance web-designer, arts council executive board member, city volunteer, and director of a yearly film festival, get the time to write and stay sane? The verdict is still out on that, my friends! Perhaps it is time to take a few of those things off the list. I'm venturing a few of them were said "yes" to by me as an avoidance tool for what I really should be doing but is unknown and therfore scary to me. Can you tell by now I was a Psych major as well in college?
Perhaps if I had been raised in the circus I would've become a master juggler. I have too many things up in the air and many times they come crashing down around me. It creates a mess to say the least and I have yet to figure out the best way to clean it up. Somewhere in my quest for fufillment I ended up feeling empty and left by the wayside. Those darn forks in the road can get us really lost. One day perhaps they will make a GPS unit for the mind! What a hoot the weight loss journey would be if you tried to head for the cookie jar. I can hear her pleasant but susinct voice already: "Re-routing...re-routing!"
So I just have to breathe deep at my road blocks like trying to figure out how to acquire reliable volunteers for my film festival and more importantly how to retain them and continue to inspire them to share their dreams and talents. That way some of the burden falls from my shoulders and I can have more time to do other things like...write perhaps??
But I do smile in knowing that by pushing myself just a bit more by producing my dear friend's wedding video, I finished something not easy from start to finish and actually enjoyed the process. Plus it made her day in a big way; which made my day in a big way. The domino effect to fufillment has to always start with that first little nudge.
Speaking of which, time to nudge off for the night and pray that my dream's inner movie method opening scene is of nothing more then the juggler taking a long needed siesta.
